I interviewed Clare Crawley about her rendezvous with Juan Pablo in the Ocean and his regrets afterwards. There were also reporters from ABC, People, US Weekly and other news Outlets on the call.
Interview with the Bachelor’s Clare Crawley
Juan pablo and 27 bachelorettes ready to eat him alive
“The Bachelor” airs MONDAYS (8:00 p.m. – 10:01 p.m., ET) on the ABC Television Network.
Q: Juan Pablo clearly felt guilt and regret about his late night swim with you in the ocean and that caused a lot talk that you two had sex in the ocean. Can you set the record straight on that?
Clare Crawley: Yes. Definitely. I, first of all, I’m thankful to have this opportunity to even talk about this, because I don’t think that it was made clear by anybody that that’s not what happened. And I don’t want that to be – I mean, I don’t want that incident to be anything equivocal and so I do want to say that that’s not what happened. That was not my intention going into it. And as well as everybody in that situation knows that that’s not what happened. So …I think that’s why I was caught off guard was because that didn’t happen.
Q: Do you feel the editors almost went out of their way to give the impression you two did more than make out?
Clare Crawley: I can see how people can think that but my – first of all, my toast, I am the worst at giving toasts. I never, never give toasts. I always duck out of that because I I just am not good at it and so by the toast that I had made, it was coming from a spot that nothing had happened. That wasn’t even on my radar. So when I gave that toast, it was kind of, I don’t know, it was more so my intention for the future and my hopes and dreams for the future and something that I was looking forward to, because I was falling in love and being in the ocean and swimming in the ocean, all those words, all those descriptive things that I was using to describe how I felt that night, could be misinterpreted. But it was, truthfully my description of falling in love. I think people can take what they want from it and interpret it however they want. But my intention was all of falling in love.
Clare Crawley: I think that hindsight, possibly – because, in the moment Juan Pablo was into it; I was into it. It was a mutual, innocent, having fun in the ocean. I was doing something that was on my bucket list. And I don’t regret it – to this second I don’t regret it. Even after this outcome and all the questions and regrets, and discussions over it and tears. I still don’t regret it because you’re swimming in the ocean, living in the moment, and falling in love. I can only stand up for my intentions into it. Whether he was having different emotions after that, I couldn’t control that. But at the time, we both were into it. I think both then and now watching the show back I didn’t understand where he was coming from. I still don’t regret it. And so we did nothing wrong and when it’s a mutual thing and in that episode, why didn’t he tell me then. Why didn’t he stop me then? You’re a grown man. I’m a grown woman. I may cry a lot and I may be sensitive but I’m a grown woman and I can handle the truth and I think I wish in the moment and even now that I would have been a little bit more verbal and you’ll see in the next episode that I stand up for myself and I take pride in that and sometimes I can be sensitive about things. It’s hard for me not to stand up more for myself.
Clare Crawley: Swimming in the ocean is not shameful. Even just watching the episode, it’s still kind of throws me off because I’m sitting here saying, what did we do wrong? what was it? He used different excuses and different examples to say why he thought it was wrong and all the reasons that he described and all the reasons that he said to me he say that his daughter was the example. He didn’t want his daughter seeing that, but as you saw earlier in the evening, he took me back to his suite to go swimming in the pool. If anything, that – to me – is a little bit more questionable. I had a little bit more doubt about that more so than the ocean. So it was very unclear. There was no line drawn and he also used the explanation that he didn’t feel like it was fair to the other women and my thoughts on that were, basically, that that’s kind of why I went away and, first of all, it wasn’t four in the morning. I wanted to make that clear. It wasn’t four in the morning, but It was late but it wasn’t four in the morning. Every woman has the same opportunity, the same chances that I have and anybody could’ve done that. I just happened to have been the one that said, “I’ve never swam in the ocean and it’s on my bucket list.” And it was something that I wanted to do with or without him to be quite honest and I had even the day prior invited the girls to go do it with me because, again, I had never swam in the ocean. So I just – I guess the line wasn’t clear what his reasonings for it was.
Q: He seems to kind of go back and forth on what he wants saying he won’t kiss anyone and then kissing you. Do you think this leads girls on or do you think maybe he’s conflicted by being attracted and then following his heart?
Clare Crawley: I think, at the end of the day, we’re all human and we’re allowed to make mistakes. We’re allowed to change our mind. We’re allowed to feel conflicted and the thing that makes this hard is that it’s on national television and I think somehow there’s that interpretation like you’re not allowed to change your mind or you’re not allowed to make mistakes. And, I don’t know, I just – it’s definitely, definitely a struggle with him, I think and I just think that if you’re going to be entering into something of this nature, you want to know exactly what you want, and exactly what you’re looking for, and exactly your boundaries, and exactly your integrity.
Have that all set up so you don’t have regrets, so you don’t have questions and feel wishy-washy. You want to feel solid on what you want. And that goes for even if you’re not on TV. If your saying you’re ready to go into a serious relationship, you need to have it clear what you’re looking for and what you want. Otherwise it just makes for some really confusing times and that’s not easy for anybody.
Q: The women referred to the group date during Monday night as Clare’s one-on-one date. What were your feelings kind of watching the episode and hearing the comments that they had to say and their frustration?
Clare Crawley: I think it’s definitely unfortunate watching it back because I had nothing but love for these girls. And you can see – I mean, I guess, you guys can’t see this but – we all borrowed each other’s clothes and helped each other with doing each other’s hair and supported each other and I think we were all in this really vulnerable situation together and so it’s unfortunate to me, hearing back, how they felt and their thoughts on it and their description of it, because that wasn’t my intention – for them to feel pushed to the side or to feel like they were all on our date. It’s, I think, there’s a lot to be said for chemistry and a lot to be said for having that connection and if somebody’s feeling insecure about it or whatever, that’s not something I can change or that’s not something I can help them with and I think at the end of the day, we all were there to fall in love – hopefully. You would hope, but I think I was doing my part in saying this is what I want and this is me, how I act, whether camera’s around or not. This is how I’m going to be when I like a man and when I’m in a relationship or wanting to be in a relationship.
This is how I am and, again, they had the same opportunities that I had and also, I think that it takes two to partake in something. I can’t just grab his hand and him have this limp, limp hand. He’s going to hold it back. And if he does that, so be it. It’s – if they’re uncomfortable with it, I feel bad about that but we all had equal opportunities for that. and it just happened to, at that time – him and I were having a great date.
Q: And then, who do you feel is your biggest competition in the house?
Clare Crawley: I, as strange as this sounds, it wasn’t competition. I know that’s probably cheesy to say but I felt like it’s not a competition. It’s not like the best wins. It’s more so you can’t even make something happen. You can’t make a connection happen. You can’t make chemistry happen. It’s who he chooses and who works for him. And what he’s attracted to and what he likes and so whether he chooses to keep people around or not, it’s not competition. It was always what is he looking for? What does he want? And at the end of the day, hopefully it’s love and you can’t compete for that. There could be 500 women there. There could be two women there. If there’s chemistry with somebody and a connection, it’s not a competition.
Lori Peters: When you first went to Juan Pablo, it seems like you were upset and sad and now it sounds like you’re very angry. What’s your real feelings?
Clare Crawley: I’m not angry at all; I’ll tell you that. I just – this is my time to say my part in it and, again, I just – I’m more so just want the reality of it to be out there and the truth to be out there instead of the, kind of, short clips that people are seeing. I want to be able to elaborate on that and so it’s not anger. It’s just me wanting to describe the truth of my perspective and my intentions. And so it’s not anger at all. I can promise you that.
Lori Peters: OK. I think they made the show – on the promos like you were going to be sent home after that and is that any of what you were feeling when you were crying about it?
Clare Crawley: I felt like if he wanted to send me home, whether or not I had a rose in my hand from the group date or not, he could’ve done so and I allowed him that opportunity to say, hey, if this is something that bothers you that much or if this is that big of an issue to you, totally send me home. If it doesn’t work for you or if you are so offended by what happened, please, like, I’m an adult. I’m a grown woman. It’s OK.
It’s not going to hurt me. It’s just saying that’s not what works for you and that’s not something that works for me because, again, I would do the same thing with somebody that I’m falling in love with. It’s follow your heart. It’s feeling passionate. It’s allowing yourself to open up to living in the moment and I don’t regret that and if that’s why you want to send me home, send me home. It’s OK, but, like I said, you can see in the next episode, I just wanted clarity on that. And he was at any time allowed to send me home.
Q: Juan Pablo is taking a lot of heat for this. Did it change your perspective of who he is as a person and is there anything you want to say about Juan Pablo?
Clare Crawley: I don’t think I can speak really for how he explained things. I’m not one that’s personally into all the blogs and Twitter and all that. I try but I’m – it’s just not my thing. I’m usually the one’s that’s not on my phone, not on my computer. I’m out doing things and so I don’t pay too much attention to it but at the same time I don’t put too much weight on it.
He’s I think more into it than I am and so I think putting yourself out there on that level and letting people in more and more and more to that, you’re going to have to expect a backlash to whatever you say. You can put anything out there. If you put a simple pic out there, a simple quote out there, it can be interpreted any way.
So the more you do that, the more I think people are going to have opportunity to jump on things. And he’s allowed to feel how he feels and if he wants to put it all out there continually on the Twitter or the internet, he’s allowed to. He just needs to know that it comes with the territory having all that backlash
Q So did this situation change the way you looked at him?
Clare Crawley: In Vietnam it definitely caught me off guard and I think it definitely set me back and took me back into my mind and took me out of my heart and what happened in the ocean and that whole day on the Vietnam date I was living in my heart and my heart feelings and it sent me back to that little hamster wheel that goes on in your brain. Like, should I do this? Shouldn’t I do this? It makes you question things more and it was something that I didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to have to question everything and so, going into the show, I felt like I’m going to put it all out there. I’m going to be 100 percent me. If he likes it, awesome. If he doesn’t, that’s OK. And at the end of the day, I knew everything was going to work out how it was supposed to and I just think that it definitely put me back in my mind – my brain, not in my heart. So that I didn’t like because, like I said, I was going whole-heartedly into this.
Q: I know you said that, he could’ve let you go home even if you had the rose but did it ever cross your mind –that you felt that you just wanted to leave at that point?
Clare Crawley: It definitely crossed my mind. What had crossed my mind, after everything happened at the rose ceremony and after we had even gone back to the hotel, I was thinking I want somebody in my life that is positive in my life and somebody that makes my life better, because I’ve already had – I have a great life and love is what I came into this show looking for and so part of that is loving you for your imperfections, loving you for your little mistakes and loving you for your good and bad and so it definitely made me want to run. It made me want to leave because I felt, like, “God, you’re supposed to lift somebody up and encourage somebody and be supportive and so it made me question is that what I want?
Q: And what made you want to stay?
Clare Crawley: What made me want to stay was that real relationships go through ups and downs. I think the key to them is talking things out and working through problems. And life isn’t always wonderful. And so you want to be able to be with somebody that you can work things out with and, at the end of the day, you can fight it out and then you embrace each other and hold each other and get through it together and shows that strength in somebody I think and I didn’t want to give up on him because I wouldn’t want somebody to give up on me that easily.
Q: Chris Harrison had mentioned on his blog that he had suggested to Juan Pablo to wait a few days before speaking to you about the incident.
Clare Crawley: I don’t know if waiting is the answer that would’ve made me feel better about it. I think his manner on how he spoke to me and what he said to me and the words that he used to me – say it at any point. Say it as soon as you feel it or wait a couple days that wasn’t the issue for me. It was how he approached it and the words he used and how he made me feel when he used those words. And that’s what I had more of the problem with.
Q: Do you keep in touch with any of the women from the show?
Clare Crawley: I didn’t go into this expecting to make strong friendships, but I’m definitely – I talk to a lot of the women on a daily basis and like I said earlier, I think it’s unfortunate that some women choose to take a different path and find humor in disrespecting other women, but that’s their prerogative and I just choose to try and stay positive about it and I think talking negatively about somebody and saying hurtful things about somebody only makes that person look bad so it’s unfortunate.
Q: So Chris Harrison said in an interview this week that, despite Juan Pablo’s apology to you after the ocean incident, he thought he made you feel cheap and was even borderline rude to you.
Clare Crawley: I do agree with Chris Harrison. I think, at the end of the day, it’s you’re delivery on what you say. And I don’t think that’s a language barrier. I think it’s how you choose to make a woman feel and I think it’s how sensitive you approach a topic, especially something involving – I don’t know. I just – you shouldn’t make women cry.
Whether it’s right or wrong or whether you feel good about it, you shouldn’t make a woman cry and it was pretty bad at the time. It made me feel awful.
Q: How long were you two away from the other girls for your swim in the pool?
Clare Crawley: We were probably around the – we were away from the girls for about 20 minutes probably, which wasn’t unheard of because he pulls aside women for different amounts of time. But if we hadn’t gone back to his suite, I think that was just a separate (entity). I think it made me feel a lot more comfortable with asking him and I thought we were on the same page with that. I didn’t think that he would pull me aside in the first place to go swimming in his pool during a cocktail party. I thought that was taking away time away from the women and I felt bad about that but I was in the moment. I was loving it and I was more than happy to be doing it because, at that time, you’re falling in love and so, like I said earlier, going swimming in the ocean – I wanted to do it with the girls. I wanted to do it by myself. It didn’t matter who I did it with; I just wanted to swim in the ocean and check that off my bucket list. I never in my mind was thinking, “This is going to be something raunchy,” or “This is going to be something bad.” I literally wanted to check something off my bucket list and do it and so that happened to been the – he was the reason I was in Vietnam and it was only fitting for me to feel like, he’s the reason I’m here; when else am I going to be in Vietnam being able to swim in this warm bathwater kind of a feel of an ocean?” I’d never felt that. And so I would’ve done it with or without him regardless.
Q: Chris Harrison has kind of dubbed Juan Pablo a little bit of a rule changer. Like he says one thing but then does another.
Clare Crawley: In the moment of it all, again, we don’t see and we don’t talk amongst the girls about what happens with each other – or at least we didn’t on this season and so we kind of kept everything to ourselves. So I didn’t know he hadn’t any women. I didn’t talk about myself kissing him. So it was all kind of kept in the dark.
Seeing it played back, it’s definitely wishy-washy and it’s definitely hypocritical. I had told him in a prior conversation with him that I didn’t want to kiss him and I didn’t want the physical part to be the focus of things and it’s one thing if it’s fair; it’s one thing if you don’t want to kiss somebody, but don’t blame it on something. Don’t make an excuse for it. Just say, “I don’t want to do that right now,” or don’t put yourself in a situation that you’re going to feel pressure to do that. It’s OK to not kiss everybody but don’t say something and do another.
Q: So what was the most hurtful part of the conversation that you and Juan Pablo had prior to the rose ceremony and how did you get yourself to bounce back?
Clare Crawley: The hardest thing about that was the confusion. Because, like I said before – and like everybody saw – he was more than willing to go swimming in the ocean. He was more than willing to participate in it. He was more than willing to enjoy it.
I know there’s no mikes on in the ocean and stuff like that but he was having a blast just like I was having a blast. We were living in the moment, swimming in the ocean. And so, in my eyes, it just really was strange to me that he had such a dramatic opposite reaction to it. That threw me off and what he was blaming it on was – one of the reasons was – he has a daughter and he didn’t want his daughter to see something like this, but, again, I didn’t understand it because, although I don’t have children, I still have integrity. and he knew that that wasn’t my intention in going in the water. He knew that nothing happened in the water. And – as well as everybody that was there. You know, so it just really was strange to me and I didn’t understand.
Clare Crawley: (Clare is crying at this point) I think I chalked it up at the time to a) I wanted to stand up for myself because I still felt and believed – to this day – I did nothing wrong; we did nothing wrong. And I needed to get answers as well as I didn’t want to give up on somebody so I wanted to get the answers and, if it’s what I wanted to hear, I would make the decision. It was much his decision, me staying there and so, if I didn’t get the answers that I wanted, I was more than willing to cut my losses and stand up for myself.
I think I just had that clear line in my head of what I want and what I don’t want and what I’ll stand up for and what I won’t put up with. So it made it easy for me to just move on. Life’s not always easy so you just have to work through things and at that time, I wanted to be there.
Q: Do you think Juan Pablo was using his daughter as an excuse?
Clare Crawley: I think an excuse – yes, I do. I do at that time and maybe at that time he didn’t know exactly what he was feeling and he just felt bad about it, but, again, I was more so thinking that I wanted to stay feeling in my heart and I still wanted to follow my heart. I didn’t want to be back thinking in my brain. I wanted to be back feeling my heart and I needed to do that. And I want to do that in any relationship. I want to completely feel. And that’s why I came on such an extreme level in putting myself out there on a show like this is that I was ready and willing to completely put my heart into it and that was more so my fear – I didn’t want to revert back to thinking in my brain and those silly relationships that you just worry about and worry about and worry about.
I didn’t want that. I can find that in Sacramento or anywhere else. I didn’t want that. I wanted to put myself into a situation with a man who wanted the same thing as me. And it did make me question a little bit because I thought we were on the same page.
